Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Evils of Exercise

Today was my first visit to a gym. Ever.

I know. I know. How is that possible at the ripe old age of 43?

Anyway, today I went. I have a membership for a year. It was free. It's a great place. But, of course, since I've never been to a gym and I've heard that this particular gym is a bit... classy... for a gym, I stress over what to wear.

I call my neighbor and classy fashion gym short guru.

I tell her I'm just going to wear jeans. "WHAT?" she shrieks.

"NO JEANS. Get over to Penney's and buy some real clothes." (Remember, this is WV and Penney's is actually a classy choice for around here). She also knows that my clothes are all too big for me. I didn't think too much about that until...

I was introduced to certain muscle toning torture devices called WEIGHT MACHINES. Let's just say that baggy shorts are a VERY BAD IDEA on certain of those machines. I also learned that I'm not a real fan of my rear being elevated above my head as I lift weights. Especially in baggy shorts.

Now, I also noted some of the "fashion" at this place and decided that some people are just paranoid about the fashion police.

One man, wearing gym shorts held up by a BELT most certainly did not receive any fashion memos.

Back I go again tomorrow. This time to do water walking in the pool with the 80+ crowd. Doesn't my life just sound fun, fun, fun? :) I admit it, I'm really going so that I can lounge in the whirlpool situated next to the pool. :) That's exercise, right?

3 comments:

my3sons said...

Chris,

You need some cotton yoga pants. They are by far the best excercise pant evaaa.

1. They cover (when you are waving your derriere above the rest of the body).
2. They are comfy.
3. They breath.
4. They are stylish, but flauntingly so.

Oh, and I wish the whirlpool was exercise! We'd all have smokin' abs then, wouldn't we.

You've inspired me. I think I'll go walk tonight.

my3sons said...

Correction on #4... NOT flauntingly so.

Sorry. My brain isn't working today.

Chris said...

THANK YOU! Now I know what to buy. :)

I can do my derriere waving in style now! :)

Darn. Are you serious? The whirlpool DOESN'T count as exercise? But it's WARM. I'm certain it's warm enough to burn off some calories. :)