Thursday, September 18, 2008


Today's story includes only characters that are fully clothed. No buxom lingerie wearing neighbors with belly button rings make an appearance. And yes, she DOES exist. :)

Remember the raccoon? Remember the Critter Control guy? Remember the live trap that was set? Okay then. Here we go...

Holly calls me yesterday afternoon to let me know that the live trap was moved to a spot behind my garage. It's a 3 foot space (like a tunnel) that goes the entire length of the garage...and backs up to our other neighbor's garage. It's full of weeds. It's kind of creepy. I never go there.

So, our immediate concern is for the safety of our kids, but they never go there either and that is easily solved. Next we discuss the safety of our cats. Again, I've never seen Tigger back there and it's baited with peanut butter...not exactly a cat treat.

Kids should be fine. Cats should be fine. The trap stays set.

Kim checks on it at 8:30 PM. No raccoon. Holly calls me to let me know. I roll my eyes as I think that canny raccoon is long gone by now (too many crazy people live around here).

At 10:00 PM, I decide to let the dogs out so I can go to bed. Yeah, it's early, but it was a long day.

I watch the dogs go out and then I hear a RACKET! I dash back to the door and peer out! Yep, they are standing at the fence and YIPPING LOUDLY (remember it's 10:00 PM and we live in a NEIGHBORHOOD with people who HATE barking dogs) so I hightail it out the door to quiet them. Plus, I am thinking...


The thing is, the dogs are not barking like they see a strange animal. It's the bark the collies give whenever they see one of their "sheep" named Tigger (our cat) or Pie (neighbor's cat).


I quiet the dogs. I listen.

I hear the most AWFUL sound coming from the trap! It sounds like a HURT ANIMAL!


This is supposed to be a LIVE TRAP...but could it have closed on a vital part of the anatomy of the critter?!

So, I usher the dogs back in the house (they are VERY MUCH AGAINST this idea) and grab my flashlight.

Remember, I HATE the dark. I HATE creepy alleys. I REALLY HATE being ALONE in those circumstances.

But, that sound could be coming from MY HURT CAT! So, onward I go.

First, I have to make a path through the weeds (trying not to think about what lives in those weeds and the fact that I am wearing shorts). Then I see the trap. I don't see an animal!

But now I HEAR the animal. DEFINITELY a CAT! But is it Tigger?

He's all the way in the back of the trap which has a garbage bag over it to (I assume) calm the trapped animal. (It doesn't work).

I tear aside the bag and shine the light on the animal's fur...IT'S TIGGER! AND HE IS YOWLING LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE. And it is ECHOING between the two garages and probably WAKING UP PEOPLE FOR MILES AROUND.

Of course, I panic. I can't tell if his tail is hurt or what. So, I can't figure out the release mechanism. But, I figure I can at least get rid of the ECHO, so I pick up the trap and take it into the alley.

OH MY! I think Tigger got even LOUDER!

Then our collie Champie finds his way back into the backyard. I guess he's learned how to open doors or apparate. He was determined to return to the aid of his sheep!

I am trying REALLY HARD to NOT think about our city's disturbing the peace ordinances.

All I can think is that I NEED HELP and canine help is not doing it for me!

I carry the trap through our yard and over to the NEIGHBOR'S PORCH. I know they are up and they called the Critter Control guy, after all. Besides, Kim is a Princeton grad and I am confident he can figure out the trap release.

You never saw two more horrified people answer their door in your life! 10:15 PM, DARK, with a YOWLING banshee, I mean CAT, on their porch.

Kim calmly released Tigger who TOOK off to our porch. GLARING at his rescuers.

Dumb cat. Dumb dumb dumb cat.

Oh WAIT! That's not a picture of TIGGER! That's just what he SOUNDED like last night...while in the trap.

Here he is...looking all sweet and innocent...and QUIET. As you can see, collies LOVE Tigger. :)

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