Christmas with Nerf Enthusiasts

Every Christmas, we travel to go to my side of the family's big Christmas gathering. This year it was at my aunt's and literally 5 minutes from our front door! Now, THAT is the way to travel for Christmas!

We always try to time our arrival to match my cousin's arrival. She is ALWAYS very late but we've gotten to these things on time and been so BORED before she got there. My kids can't wait for her kids to arrive. Rob has no one his age to talk to until her husband arrives. You can see why we wait. This year she arrived about 2 minutes before me (which made us both about an hour late, planned on our part). The older generation enjoys the Brandy Alexanders that my uncle makes in vast quantity while they wait for the delinquent younger generation to arrive. They don't seem to mind too much.

About those Brandy Alexanders... they have been my uncle's trademark at these gatherings for about 30 years. As soon as I was old enough to drink them, I was supposed to join in the fun, but I can't stand the smell of them, so I've never indulged. Now, of course, Rob and I just don't want to drink in front of the kids, so we decline.

Now, for dinner, my uncle brought good wine. Again, I declined, but I said I would like MILK and please hand me a wine glass to put it in. WELL, NO WAY was my uncle letting me do that! He said it would taint the wine glass and no future wine in the glass would taste the same. It might even ETCH the GLASS! He threatened to find me a sippy cup instead! However, he's not much taller than me, so I elbowed my way past him and snatched my glass of choice. Thus began our wildest Christmas dinner ever.

Usually, we eat (late, it's ALWAYS late... food promised at 2 PM... we never actually eat before 4 PM... which probably explains the drinking...). Then we have my aunt's incredible dessert, Plum Duff (a family tradition). There is calm chatting throughout.

NOT SO this year. First we started with the jokes. I seemed to garner most of them... first with the milk, then with my oatmeal bread... being oatmeal, everyone said they would be most regular now (Wow! WHAT a compliment!)... and since Plum Duff is made with prunes, well, you can IMAGINE where the conversation went after that. I would like to point out that there were NO CHILDREN at the table. Oh no. This was ALL ADULT. I know it SEEMS like a 9 year old would have started us down this line of conversation, but no...

Then Matt came into the dining room with his new Nerf blaster 6-shooter... a gift from my uncle. Those two ganged up on us all and turned into sharp shooters! They particularly found aiming and HITTING the --um-- rears of the women doing dishes was a hilarious activity. The various --um-- "sizes" of the targets provided much jocularity and much shrieking! Bad uncle! We kept telling him that Matt is not allowed to aim at PEOPLE without goggles, but he didn't care and Matt LOVED IT. Of course, I thought they were going to collapse laughing when they hit me in the chest with their targeting prowess (although, I believe that was accidental and we won't discuss the size of THAT target). :)

My uncle said it was the best Christmas gift EVER. He's SIXTY-FIVE years old! :) Matt, age 7, was quick to remind my uncle that he GAVE the gift to HIM. :)

Now, here's the best part. When I was 7 years old, my family had just moved to Ohio from California. I was very uncomfortable with my newly met cousins and all the new extended family. My uncle was the one adult who really made my brother and I feel welcome. I remember him chasing us around in various outdoor games and being in awe over his various exploits (like outrunning the mean bull in a neighboring field). Now I got to see him with my own son, making him laugh and feel part of the celebration, and the years fell away.

I love having such a wonderful memory to take away from our family gathering this Christmas. Sometimes weird, but wonderful nonetheless. :)

What? Blue Eyes?

Just a moment ago, I was trying to take a snapshot of my new haircut with my iSight computer camera.

My husband walked by and commented, "Wow! That picture sure makes your eyes look blue."

BLUE?

My eyes are NOT BLUE!

We're gonna have to have a little chat.... A chat in which I say, "Repeat after me, my wife's eyes are GREEN." Really. Not even CLOSE to blue.

I'll Have a Little Fat with That

It's a noisy day around here. :) We've been doing Legos all morning (which seems like a quiet activity but is somehow not). :) The kids are home from school due to ice/snow. We don't have much here in the valley, but up on the hill where the high school is, they got 4 inches.

So, now the little munchkins are hungry. It is nearing lunchtime. They begged for meatballs, salami/cream cheese, and cheese cubes. Hmmm... Somehow, I'm not thinking that is a good lunch. :) Tommy also wanted chips. Personally, I find salami/cream cheese roll-ups to be disgusting, but my mom got them hooked on them and actually BRINGS them to us.

So, I tell them, "SURE, fine, go for it. BUT, at dinner tonight your ENTIRE plate will be VEGETABLES. Preferably green leafy ones. A big HEAPING plate of veggies. YUM!"

Six eyeballs whipped toward me, flashing with horror!

I grinned. Mwa haha! :)

But then they surprised me. They said, "Well, can we have a potato with them?" And they were PLEASED!

So, I'll make them eat a few carrots now and then really enjoy the completely healthy meal tonight. :)

But, I am wondering if I'm being a completely horrible mom! :)

That Christmas Spirit

If you read yesterday's post, you know that I took my kids up to Oglebay Mansion to meet Santa (the REAL one). The whole enormous place is decorated for the holidays. A guy from Pittsburgh came down to do an ice sculpture on the front lawn. There was a play, and a magician, and crafts. It's a fun time for a mere $6 and only 5 minutes away! :) It's neat. It's possible I enjoy it more than the kids. :)

Isn't the picture of the kids in the ice sleigh completely cool? (hee hee... yes, they WERE VERY COOL in that sleigh! Very cool indeed! They did have little rugs to sit on so I wasn't torturing them that badly in order to get a picture.) :)

Something very nice / nearly traumatic happened while we were there. Matt likes to take his Nintendo DS with him to these things, especially when he knows there will be a long waiting time (like the loooong line to see Santa). We walked in the mansion and I really meant to tell him to put his backpack on his back instead of holding it like a satchel, but I forgot. So, you guessed it, we sat down to watch the magician and got up to leave...without the DS. I looked at him after we'd climbed up 2 flights of steps to get to the theater ensemble, and noticed NO BACKPACK. Which meant, NO DS, and probably 6 games. My heart started to race because NO WAY could I replace all that right now. The whole point of the backpack is so that he doesn't sit the DS down and forget it. I felt horrible.

So, we raced back down the stairs and checked where we were sitting. NO DS. All of us are starting to look somewhat stricken at this point. I asked a volunteer and she said to check the front desk. Back up the steps we go, down a long corridor, through some mobs of tourists, ending up at the front desk.

I gasp, "Was a backpack just turned in?" I have NO hope. SO MANY people are there. What are the odds of an honest one picking it up AND bringing it all the way to the desk that fast? Not very good.

So, when the lady at the desk said, "Why YES, it was," it took us all a moment for her words to register. Matt about cried. So did I because I didn't have to see him brokenhearted on his trip to see Santa. We turned to go back to the festivities and I heard someone say, "Oh! I'm so glad you found it!" IT WAS THE LADY WHO TURNED IT IN! I about kissed her.

It still just warms my heart to think about the EFFORT she went to in order to make sure a little boy wasn't devastated by the loss of a favorite toy. She must have raced faster than we did to get it to the front desk ahead of us. It sure made a big impression on my kids too. I know they'll all do the right thing if they ever find something as expensive lying around somewhere. It was a valuable lesson. Oh, and Matt's lesson to KEEP his BACKPACK on his BACK was highly valuable too. :)

Going to Oglebay Mansion to meet Santa: $6.00
One backpack with DS and games: $250.00
FINDING lost backpack against all odds because of one special person: PRICELESS

Happy kids after Nintendo DS was found:

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas...

Last week I went up to Oglebay Mansion with my three little darlings. It's an enormous and beautiful place and SANTA makes it one of his first stops of the season. The REAL santa. He told me so when I asked him for a new Lexus... and maybe an iHubs (shhhh!).

Really, the same nice man has been Santa at the mansion for something like 20 years. He really does seem like the REAL Santa! :)

Now, my two oldest, Sarah and Thomas were ADAMANTLY opposed to sitting on Santa's lap. Not so with Matt, age 7. He hopped right over to him. He was so cute. He got all embarrassed and couldn't think of a thing. I cleverly prompted him with several items I'd already purchased. :)



And then, before my wondering eyes, stood THOMAS wanting to tell Santa his wishes too! And when I glanced questioningly at SARAH, she blushed and nodded vigorously as well!

So, now I have this picture. Probably my last, of all three with Santa. I love it.

Rice is Nice

I am completely hopeless with making rice! It's been proven again!

This time I was just making Minute Rice. Now, WHO messes up Minute Rice? Really. I want to know.

Evidently, ME.

It was a simple mistake, really. I was in a hurry because I was in the midst of making a yummy Greek dish with chickpeas (which Rob only agreed to eat after I assured him they were really the more manly garbanzo beans :). I decided it might taste good over rice. So, in order to get the rice done in time, I grabbed what I thought was Minute Rice. Now, most of my food is generic and this was rice in a large glass canning jar. Hey, it looked right to my "I need bifocals" eyes! :)

Rob, knowing me and my history with rice, calmly got out my new rice cooker, read the directions, and started some real rice.

Bless him.

Because I did NOT start cooking Minute Rice. I started cooking regular rice in the Minute Rice fashion. OOOPS! :) Let's just say it is still cooking. Rob's rice is fluffy and beautiful.

I am never going to hear the end of it! :)

It's all in the Eye of the Beholder

The kids are off school today due to Veteran's Day. Matt has been bouncing off of the walls since yesterday when he found out he had a PLAY DATE with a new friend from school.

Kelly (Isaac's mom) called yesterday to invite Matt over. She was really happy that our two sons have finally decided to be friends. She even mentioned how glad she was that her son had made friends with the "good boys" at school. I'm not sure why she was concerned because she has a wonderful family. But, it did make me feel proud of Matt that someone else thinks so highly of him.

So, Matt was to be picked up at 11 AM.

6:30 AM Everyone is sleeping in because it is a day off school... EXCEPT MATT.
7:20 AM I finally give in and drag myself out of bed. I was so looking forward to a good snooze til 8:00 AM, but it was not to be.
7:30 AM Dogs are THRILLED to see me up at my usual time.
8:00 AM Matt: "Mom, when am I leaving?" Yes, this is the first of the billions of times he asked this same question between 8-9 AM.

9:00 AM Begin cleaning regime with unwilling children. Funnel Matt's antsiness into cleaning! Hey! It worked!!! For the next two hours he only asked about 12 times. :)

11:00 AM Wave goodbye to Matt.

1:00 PM Receive phone call from Kelly.

Kelly: "Hi Chris. Just wanted to tell you that the boys are having a great time."
Me: "Oh, that is wonderful! I knew they would."

Kelly: "There has been a slight injury. We have a spinny toy and Matt got hit by one of the spinners. I have a cold compress on his eye. He's fine. You can barely see where he got hit."
Me: (with hand still on phone book ready to call eye dr.) "I'm sure he's fine. Thanks for taking care of him!' (remove hand from phone book, breathe, breathe, breathe, continue conversation calmly...)

Kelly: "Oh! Hi Matt! Matt's here. Just a sec." (voice becomes muffled) "Let me see, Matt. Oh! Hey! Your eye is hardly bloodshot at all now!"

AAAAAAAAGH!!!

I decided she had to be teasing me. (stop hyperventilating, put down paper bag)

Then she comments on how she has never heard a child giggle as much as Matt does. Yup. He's a happy kid.

So, now I am waiting for my little darling to arrive home. I do hope he has both eyes intact!!!

UPDATE: Matt's fine and has been invited back. :)

That Thomas!

Today Thomas (age 10) was asked if the mail had come yet. It's delivered through a mail slot to the side of the front door.

Dad: "Thomas, is the mail here, yet."
Thomas: "No."
Dad: "Are you sure because it sounded like the mail was dropped through the slot just now."
Thomas: "No, Dad, it's not here."
Dad: "Are there still envelopes in the slot ready to get picked up by the mailman?"
Thomas: "No."

Okay. Clearly at this point Thomas is just enjoying saying the word, "No." Rob's no fool, so he had his next question ready.

Dad: "Thomas, is there mail on the floor under the mail slot?"
Thomas: "OH! Yes, there IS!"

Rob rolled his eyes so hard I was afraid they were going to stick that way!

A Day at the Natural History Museum

My son Thomas (age 10) said the Natural History Museum was like a "dead zoo."

At one point we were standing in front of a large bird exhibit and arguing over which birds looked the most dead. I know, I know. We are an odd family. But, boys will be boys. And some of the birds were really very old stuffed examples and just looked more moth-eaten than others. Plus, most birds were upright in natural-looking positions, but others were laying flat on their backs... and those looked rather more gruesome. More dead, somehow.

Not everyone would understand our conversation about the dead birds. Most certainly another patron did not. He walked by and we heard a most acerbic voice say, "They are all EQUALLY DEAD."

We got a good laugh over it, although I am sure that was not the intent of that grumpy speaker! :)

Shorts in winter? Say it isn't so!

I just love FALL. To me, it is the best time of the year! Falling leaves, Halloween, football...

...and Fall clothes! I love sweaters and corduroys and my winter shoes. Everything is all just so comfy!

So, yesterday, when I thought that just perhaps since it is now FALL and the temps are starting to be lower, that maybe, just MAYBE it was time to put some shorts away and wear LONG PANTS.

Well, evidently, that is just fine for me, but the rest of the family rebelled.

I have no back-up on this. Not only does DH wear shorts during snowstorms, but a perfectly respectable dad down the street also wears shorts year-round. It doesn't matter how cold it is outside. They make everyone around them feel cold!

But, I am a MOM and feel I must instill some proper clothing choices amongst the youngsters. Note that not one child of mine wore long pants to school today. Tomorrow I am putting my foot down!

I mentioned this to DH.

He said, "Don't be pushin' your long pants - long shirts ways on us, Woman."

Woman? What is this, "Cro-Magnon Day?"

Oh, he will pay!

Trauma over Teeth

My mom and I went shopping today. We had a terrific time. I even got some Christmas shopping done and everything was 50 - 75% off. I felt good.

Then I came home. I was going to just enjoy the quiet of the house for the last hour before the kids got home, when I noticed a message on the answering machine. It was Thomas (age 10) at school. He was crying. He somehow got across the idea that he had chipped a tooth. He sounded like he was in pain.

Now, of course, I immediately felt like the worst mom imaginable! How could I be out SHOPPING when my child needed me?!!!

So, I called the school asap. Fortunately, the secretary knew all about it and calmed my fears. He was fine. He was back in class. They saved the chip. He hadn't fallen on the playground. He wasn't sitting in class with blood dripping to the floor.

Wait. Saved the chip?

I was getting ready to call the dentist when I decided to wait the few minutes left before he got home and see for myself. By this point, I'm expecting to see him come walking up the front steps with half of one of his front teeth in his hand. And he has my teeth. My ENORMOUS front teeth. This would be bad. And very noticeable.

I pace a bit.

He comes home.

And it turns out to be a BABY tooth at the BACK of his mouth. I'm not even sure why the school felt he needed to call me!

So, my day (and his) ended fine. No dentist. His teeth are fine. I may have passed along enormous teeth, but they are also VERY STRONG. Like a horse. :)

Romeo and Juliet

My youngest son, age 6, has something of a female fan club. He doesn't really know how to take girls calling him and all. He thinks of them as friends and just giggles. He's just so darn cute.

Anyway, back in preschool, there was something of a war over him. First one girl liked him, then another. I was getting a tad worried, let me tell you! I mean, PRESCHOOL.

The strongest will prevailed. Natasha. For TWO years, she has persisted. She's a really pretty little girl. My son considers her a good friend.

Her mom told me her daughter's long term plan. Evidently, Natasha wanted my son to marry her and put her through school. At age 5. Ahem.

Her mom calmly talked her into waiting until she was 13. Well, there's a relief! :)

Today we pulled up to go to a soccer game and it was pouring down rain. We were waiting in the van and I noticed Natasha's mom in the next vehicle. I rolled down the window a bit and waved, "Hi." Matt and Natasha were somewhat frustrated to be able to barely see each other with the tinted windows...plus the rain. So, her mom made a Romeo and Juliet comment.

Hmmmmmm.

A Break, Nah!

Through the ordeal of DH getting his knee surgery, some have suggested that perhaps I should be nicer to him. Well, rest assured, I am! We just joke about a lot of things. So, no need to feel tooooo sorry for him! He rather enjoys being "blog fodder!" :)

He was able to give up one of his crutches and just use the other one on Tuesday. He was very happy about it. So was I.

So, I told all and sundry that I was finally putting up a SIGN in the yard. Attached to the CRUTCH, I posted a note that said, "HUSBAND FOR SALE, CHEAP."

Well! Can you believe it? NOT ONE OFFER!

So, I told DH and he suggested that the sign SHOULD have said, "FREE HUSBAND."

So, I tried THAT. Still nuthin'.

I mentioned this problem to DH again. He thinks that it is the same as with FREE KITTENS. You just can't get rid of them! :)

And before you freak out too much over this, just know that several women have flat out told me that if I am not nice to him, they will steal him away! He knows this. He just smiles. :)

I Give Up

Remember my post about the bell and how I would NEVER answer to one? NO WAY! Remember that?

Well, famous last words and all that.

DH was (I thought) in a comatose state upstairs. Medication on top of coming out of anesthesia. Of course he is sleeping.

So, I decide to go sit on our porch and chat with the kids.

I am out there MAYBE sixty seconds when Holly (next door neighbor) comes out on HER porch holding her phone.

"Chris, do you realize Rob is looking for you? He needs you for something." Now, of course, I feel horrible. What kind of nurse am I?

Suddenly, Sarah appears with one of our phones. It's ringing. It's the intercom. You guessed it. IT'S DH.

Of course, by this time I think something horrible is happening.

"ROB, what is WRONG?" I ask.

"Oh, nothing. I just couldn't figure out where everyone was." NOTHING??????

He's been home for 3 hours.

This is gonna be fun, now isn't it? So, now he has a BELL. I may or may not respond to it. But, at least he KNOWS I can hear him and hopefully won't be calling the NEIGHBORS to TRACK ME DOWN!

Men are such babies when they have surgery. :)

It's Official...TIME IS RUNNING OUT for my Old Lame Horse

DH hit a milestone today. We went to Wal-Mart and he had to use one of the motorized carts. Aside from the obvious hilarity value of this event (he's only 44), the Wal-Mart Greeter DID NOT BELIEVE him when he told him he was having knee surgery on Wednesday. He quizzed him on which doctor, where was the surgery, etc. The kids and I laughed our heads off. This probably did not help his case.

However, he DID get to ride the motorized cart. Of course, he was already riding it when he asked. And he is at least 6' tall and well over 200 pounds, so perhaps the greeter did not choose to try to remove him from it. :)

He had fun, if the beeping sounds were any indication. Apparently, it is more fun to drive those things BACKWARD so that they make lots of annoying noise.

And he did make himself useful by going after one item on our list. That is right. He had ONE tiny item in the cart on his vehicle. NO WONDER they did not believe him that he needed it!

So, I am thinking that PASTURE land I have picked out for this OLD LAME HORSE of mine is looking pretty good. :) I think the Wal-Mart greeter will agree, that is, if it will keep DH OFF of the MOTORIZED CARTS! :)

Because I Am a MEAN MEAN MEAN Wife :)

DH is lame. Like a horse. An OLD horse. So, I told him I was going to arrange to have him shot.

Oh, he knows I am kidding. :) We laughed. After he got over being SHOCKED. :) He's usually the one to come up with the jokes around here.

But, I keep mentioning it and now I think he is wondering if he should be worried! ha!

Actually, even limping around on a bad knee, he is proving to be useful, so he's not going to be put out to pasture just yet. :)

And yes, I am enjoying this a little tooooo much.

He has knee surgery next week and a friend offered him a LARGE BELL with which to SUMMON ME when he needs me. Right.

Rob laughed. As he should. He knows me. He told his friend that the bell was more likely to summon our DOGS than his WIFE.

I'm really just trying to keep DH cheerful by joking around through this. He's in a lot of pain. I feel quite terrible for him. But, in this situation, some laughter eases the pain, I hope. And I WILL be at his beck and call after the surgery...just not to the tune of a LARGE BELL! :)