Monday, May 18, 2009

Ack! My LIPS!

I have thin lips. Yeah, I know. Boo hoo. I never really cared and I'm sure not into injecting anything into them to make them fuller, but then I started seeing these lipsticks that supposedly plump them up.

I keep expecting one of them to have the slogan, "I'm gonna PLUMP ...you UP." (Thanks, Hans & Franz, for that).

So, when my daughter Sarah and I were out shopping, we found a pretty pink lip gloss and laughed ourselves silly because it is also a LIP PLUMPER. Are you smiling? Yeah. It's funny. It was also half off and just the right color... so I bought it. I feel SO TRENDY!

I put some on yesterday. I love the color. It's pink and glossy. :) But I think it plumps lips by BURNING THEM OFF. :) Oh, I laughed and laughed over THAT. And WHAT in the WORLD happens when you KISS someone with this stuff on? I was afraid to even kiss one of the kids! "ACK! MOM! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY CHEEK! IS THAT A LIP-SHAPED HOLE YOU'VE BURNED INTO MY FACE?"

But, thankfully, the burning wore off and after awhile it just looked like pretty lip gloss. Were my lips fuller? Maybe... from biting them to keep from laughing uproariously the entire time I had it on.

Then I discovered that I BOUGHT THE WRONG KIND! I'm on this particularly ineffective diet that has me on a plateau I cannot get off, and here all I needed to do was BUY THE RIGHT LIP GLOSS!

Loss Gloss (Lip Plumping & Appetizer Inhibitor):
"Now you'll have luscious lips AND lose inches from your hips with new Loss Gloss. Experience a totally unique holistic approach to beauty. This regimen will allow you to protect and beautify your lips while providing recognized appetite inhibitors and sugar blockers.*

Well, what do you think? Is it worth the $7.50? hahaha Oh, I seriously doubt it, but it might be worth it just to have a box that reads, "Lip Plumping and & Appetizer Inhibitor." That just cracks me up!

16 comments:

Daisy said...

Burning lips! YIKES! ha! I'm not sure I would want to put that on again if it felt like it was burning.

And it helps you lose weight?? Hmm...color me skeptical. :D Maybe so if you really like the way your lips look with it on. You wouldn't want to eat anything and smear the gloss off, perhaps.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

I think you made this whole thing up .......

he heee

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Hi Daisy!!

I am soooo behind in commenting - ((whew))

Chris said...

Hi Daisy,

Oh, I just had the regular kind... the one with the appetite suppressor was something I found online and I thought was too funny to NOT blog about. :)

Honestly, I just bought the gloss for the blog fodder potential. I do like the color. :) I think it is just so funny!

Chris said...

Hey Speedy!

MOI? Make something up to blog about? (innocent eyelash flutter)

You are fine one to talk! :)

BIBI said...

Hahahaha! I never heard of such a thing. Well, you know a lip plumper and appetite inhibitor. WOW! What will they invent next?!?

By the way, did you lose any weight? :)

Chris said...

Hi Bibi! haha Nope, I didn't buy the one that was an appetite suppressor. I had doubts (wink wink) that it would work. Besides, what would one tube do? I'd need like a barrel-full! ;)

jennifer said...

You are right - it is the weirdest sensation!

And yes, I would purchase appetite inhibiting lip gloss.

Mary Alice said...

Sounds about as fun as plumping them up by kissing bee's bottoms
:-)

Chris said...

Hi Jennifer! If it REALLY worked for weight loss, I'd be first on the list to buy it! :) I'm thinking it works by making your lips too sore to eat! :)

Chris said...

Hi Mary Alice!

Maybe that is where they got the idea! :) Funny phrase. buzzzzzzz :)

Speedcat Hollydale said...

heheheheheheheheeeeeeeeeeee


I see U

Chris said...

SPEEDY! YOU CAN? Turn OFF that video cam!! :)

nikkicrumpet said...

Hey maybe the flavor of the lipgloss is so gross that you lose your appetite...It probably tastes like dirty socks lol

Chris said...

Nikki! You just game me a GREAT IDEA! Flavoring all of my DAUGHTER'S lip gloss with DIRTY SOCK taste! I bet I could market that idea to other moms of young teens.... :)

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