The Unusually Flattening Adventures of Flat Stanley

A daughter of a friend of mine gave me Flat Stanley so that I could chronicle his adventures in West Virginia. Silly daughter. Silly friend.

He arrived a month ago, but I am slow, so he ended up celebrating Rhubarb Pie Day with us instead of doing much in the way of hiking up hills, washing the pick-up, or coal mining.

I think he looks like he's having a good time, don't you?



Actually, TOO good of a time! FLAT STANLEY! I took my eyes off of him for two seconds and just LOOK! He is not so flat anymore!!!



Oh no, oh NO! I've ruined Flat Stanley! I told my friend and she was aggrieved, to put it mildly!



Fortunately, I was making a visit to Magee Women's Hospital the very next day and they have a machine guaranteed to flatten anything.

The technician was very helpful and even flattened him on both sides, just to be sure he was well and truly squished. How thoughtful!




















So, our trauma is at an end. Flat Stanly is flat again! Plus, he's gone to a place where no "man" EVER wants to go! Poor Flat Stanley! He may never be the same. (I'm also sure I gave the technician something to talk about for days!) ;)

A Perfect Husband in the Making

Okay, so Matt's only eight years old right now. Still. Read this and you be the judge. Will he be the perfect husband for someone someday, or what?

(Plus, he's just about the cutest thing ever.)

First of all, you need to be aware that our family joke is that dinner is done when the smoke alarm goes off. Ahem.

Here's the story...

For an after-school snack, I tossed a small pizza in the oven.

Then I left the kitchen for the 17 minutes it took to bake.

25 minutes later, I sniffed the air.

"Odd," I thought, "that smells like pizza! OH!"

(Flying dash to oven.)

Pull overdone pizza out of the oven and look up to see Matt watching interestedly. "Mom," he says sincerely, "that looks perfect!"

(It helps when you set the bar low.)

"Awww, thank you, Matt!"

My daughter Sarah walks in and mentions that she actually likes burned pizza.

Matt, not to be outdone, says, "Yes, it brings out the flavor of the pizza."

(Obviously, we need to watch less FoodTV.)

See why I love them?

Wrinkly Boys

What is it about BOYS and WRINKLES?

Mind you, I never buy anything that needs ironed. I am allergic to ironing. Honest. ;)


Downy Wrinkle Releaser is my friend!

BUT, when you are going to be on stage, SINGING a SOLO, in front of ALL your PEERS AND your FAMILY, do you really want to have on a costume that has been STUFFED into a string backpack for THREE DAYS?

Huh. Tommy, age 12, does.

He's going to be so unhappy when he sees it all IRONED and on HANGERS. :) heheheh ... I am SUCH an evil mom! ;)

And it ends with a Snuggie (could be worse!)...

Today is the day of my daughter's Strings concert. She plays violin. Want to know when I found out? Yesterday.

So, yesterday I told her to get her outfit ready for the concert. They have to wear a special white polo shirt and black pants. Pretty easy.

But...

You guessed it...

No shirt.

Gone.

We tore her room apart looking for it and it was just not there. Sarah can cope with a lot, but it was a really tough day for her at school. Her best friends turned on her and called her things like, "idiot" and much worse. (Seventh grade girls... save me from the drama!!! And the viciousness!!) Even worse, her chorus teacher told her that she didn't do a good job on her solo and it might go to someone else instead for the big musical next week. So, the shirt was kind of the last straw.

I didn't want her to have yet another thing to deal with, so I pulled things out from every corner of her room today looking for it again. Then I gave up and drove over to Goodwill thinking any old white polo would do for one night and at least she could participate. No white polos.

So, I drove to Target. I love Target. $6 later, I had a white polo. I drove to her school. I dashed in. I asked the nice secretaries to page her. I met her in the hall... and she was wearing AN OFFICIAL STRINGS POLO SHIRT.

(ahem)

I was a tad exasperated that she didn't CALL, but mostly just happy that she dealt with it on her own.

Then I gave her a SURPRISE. I had with me something she has been begging me for all month... a SNUGGIE. She wanted it for a school project. I refused to dish out $15 so I told her she couldn't have one. BUT, Target (I LOVE TARGET) had one for $7.50 on clearance.

She actually squealed for joy when I handed it to her. :) I love a happy kid, don't you? She needed that, I think.

All's well that ends with a Snuggie. :) (Evidently.) (And this school project better get an "A"!!!)



(And I wonder why I get nothing done around the house some days!!!)

A Flat Out Lying Meme (Can you guess?)

I just swiped this from Daisy. :) Thanks, Daisy! I think it's fun!

Meme: For If Truth Be Told

For this meme, according to the rules, I am to list seven wild or wacky tidbits about myself, at least one of which is true.

So this is my list. It is up to you to decide which ones are true and which ones are outright lies and products of my creative license.

1) I have 2 brothers named Scott.

2) I survived a 6.2 earthquake and a 3-day mandatory evacuation due to a crack in a local dam.

3) At one time, I had 33 collies.

4) Two of my kids are named after former students of mine.

5) I once worked in a castle for an entire summer.

6) In college, I was on the varsity tennis team.

7) When I was 10, I caught a wild chipmunk with my bare hands.


Now, I am supposed to tag seven bloggers to pass this on to, but since I don't actually like memes, and I know many others do not as well, instead let me just say that if you would like to participate, please consider yourself tagged. Let me know you are playing so I can come and read your list too.

Now, have you figured out which tidbits above are true and which are false?

I put the answer in the comments section. :)

(Thanks, Daisy, for the meme!)